Meanwhile, back in Pasadena. Cowboy Mix?

So a break from the final flurry of India pictures. Was in Osh today, and what did I see?

Mmmm. Candy. And look, it’s called “Cowboy mix”. Sounds yummy.

Let’s see what’s in there…

Jelly beans. Okay. Sure, I buy that. Beans… cowboys… we’ve all seen “Blazing Saddles” right?
We all know that beans and cowboys go together. Although I do think old Cookie was probably preparing over the open fire something more like navy beans, or kidney beans. Not so much cherry red, lime green and white-flavored jelly beans.

Next in the mix: Well, candy corn catches my eye.

Huh.

Corn love is not as well known as the cowboy love for beans but I get it. Kinda. Corn has an air of the (mid) west about it. A stretch, but acceptable.

What else?

Hard to tell completely: the brown things might be chocolate raisins, or chocolate peanuts… We’ll skip over that. What candy mix is complete without a little random chocolate after all?

And lastly, those bumpy maroon colored things? Burnt sugar beans (as a nearby dedicated plastic container filled with just such bumpy maroon things informs me.) Hmmm. That seems like a gratuitous amount of beans in this theme now. Almost like someone is reaching for a connection. Still, understandable in the whole cowboy arena–

–Until you realize that “burnt sugar beans” are also known more colloquially as Boston Baked Beans.

Boston?!!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I call shenanigans here. I’m beginning to suspect that labeling this candy as a “cowboy mix” might just be a marketing ploy.

As a matter of fact, the random nature of this mix– and the fact that it’s being sold uncomfortably close to the pesticide section– makes me think that this is just a cynical way to pass off odds and ends of candy no one knew what to do with as something as noble an fine as “cowboy mix.”

This is my conclusion: I suggest you continue riding partner. Teach those marketers a lesson and mosey right past this faux cowboy mix and search out something a little more authentic.

Like… I’m reaching here… but a good John Wayne movie, some bad whiskey and a few flame-roasted Peeps. Something that’s more in line with our fine American free range past.

Just my opinion.

Do what you want.

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6 comments on “Meanwhile, back in Pasadena. Cowboy Mix?”

  1. LOL!!!!!

    BTW – another reason to take a pass… they look nasty!

    • I’m telling you, the smell of the garden poisons in the air nearby was enough, alone, to make me swear off candy for a lifetime no matter what was in the plastic container. 🙂

  2. Thank you for my first laugh of the morning!!! I do think there’s a place in the market for a rugged, manly, John Wayne candy bar…

  3. A masterful attack on the slipping of the honesty we consumers hope for at the candy counter. You have struck a blow for all sugar eaters, east and west.


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